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Thursday Throwback: Movie Review - Seventh Son

Thursday Throwback: Movie Review - Seventh Son

Before this blog, I set up another blog back in 2015 and I decided to write about the movie Seventh Son, which I'd picked up at Redbox earlier that week. Can you say lazy, shitty movie? I did. Repeatedly.

Then I wrote my thoughts. Enjoy!


Seventh Son as White Male Mediocrity’s Commentary on Feminism…and is a Piece of Crap.

POSTED ON JULY 12, 2015

I just finished watching Seventh Son. If you haven’t seen it, don’t torture yourself, but I watched it and had a bunch of issues – namely with racism and sexism. So let’s talk about it.

The story: There is this old guy. He’s what they call a “spook.” Spooks are not particularly loved, and are witch hunters. This particular spook is also a misanthropic alcoholic who gets all his assistants killed. In fact, he just got Jon Snow killed by a dragon witch he opted not to kill years ago. The dragon witch, a woman, has escaped her cell where old guy trapped her and is on a rampage for revenge. There is this young guy. He has visions. They make him shake or lose consciousness. He’s the seventh son, which makes him special in ways you never really see in the movie. At all. It’s like the poster child for white hetero male superiority syndrome.

Old guy and young guy set out on a journey to train young guy how to kill witches. But there isn’t really time to train him so old guy just throws him into some random, deadly situations from which he then saves him and then there’s a training montage when young guy manages to do some spectacularly mediocre shit…like miss his target. Now he’s worth training.

In the meantime, dragon witch is getting her minions army together. Dragon witch is a pale skinned, red headed white woman. She rules them all. Her second in command is also a white woman. The remainder of her army is people of color: a Black man, Asian man, Hispanic Man, Black Woman, and my favorite, Vishnu, a Hindu god turned raging killer.

Turns out, the dragon witch was old guy’s ex and went evil when he broke up with her because female agency is a myth. Mediocre heroes miraculously slay all the minority minions and then take out the big, bad white woman who had the audacity to build a power base and attack her enemies, like any good leader would do. She is ultimately betrayed by women who choose family and children over power and is killed by her sister, although you are led to believe mediocre young guy struck the killing blow. I mean, she wasn’t stabbed through the heart by her sister or anything. Nope. He killed her. She doesn’t even manage to kill the man who betrayed her, whose throat she had in her claws.

This was a hot mess of a movie but the tropes, oh the lazy, sad tropes. And the multiple POC characters that we got to witness being destroyed. It was…ugh.

I am less for having watched that.

So back to how this movie is an allegory for feminism, specifically white feminism.

We have two white guys fighting to take down a strong white woman. She is too powerful so she’s gotta go. She was cool when she just wanted to be with old guy, but since old guy could do better, he did and that just cheesed powerful woman’s crackers.

She amasses her power base, with a white woman at her side, a black man as her lieutenant, and various POCs as her army and sends them out to enact her revenge on the white patriarchy. Her biggest opponents are women who once supported her cause, but turned against her for family and children. In fact, they sacrifice themselves to protect their children, the true woman’s role.

The powerful white woman sacrifices POCs to push forward her agenda. An agenda that could not survive the assault of two mediocre men – one who is old but can still fight and one who is young and barely trained, both only wielding silver dust and swords that they can only use at close range. Did I mention she’s a dragon? A flying, fire-breathing dragon with a 20-foot tail.

Yeah, this movie was some bullshit. Don’t watch it.


So, my thoughts on this review...because yes, I'm going to review my review.

The title is crap. I tried to fix it then said screw it; that's what I originally posted so it gets to stay.

Line that made me LOL: Turns out, the dragon witch was old guy’s ex and went evil when he broke up with her because female agency is a myth.

Shit I could have done better on: Expanding on the minority characters being sacrificed to push forward a white woman's agenda. That is some real shit, y'all. You see it with women's suffrage, the feminist movement,  and affirmative action. Even modern day gynecology was predicated on the disposability of Black female bodies that were savagely mutilated without any consideration of pain or harm (Please note that the article title "J. Marion Sims....Hero or Villain?" implies there is some question to the harm he caused. There isn't. He was a monster).

So while I feel like I hit the mark in discussing the sexism of the movie, I missed the opportunity to talk about the racism in the movie. Probably because this is so standard in Hollywood that I feel like a broken record mentioning it. All of the villains are ancient shapeshifters with ridiculous power and all of them fall to an old drunk and his barely trained apprentice. The white male supremacist message is appalling. But, again, art imitates life.

So yeah, those are my final thoughts on what I wrote. I still agree with myself. The movie still sucks balls and it does glorify white male mediocrity and reinforces white supremacist ideology.

Carry on...

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