Living my life as authentically as I can.

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I write about what I see, feel, live and you are welcome to share the experience as I share them.

Caping for Cops

Caping for Cops

I grew up surrounded by angry white people.

I went to school with their kids. Wasn’t invited to their parties, and learned to coexist amongst people who thought you were good enough some days but would call you a n*gger if you crossed the line.

I was threatened for entering “their” neighborhoods. I was taught to be quiet and ignore their verbal assaults. I was told that Black women weren’t attractive and accused of being too sensitive when I demanded respect. I was told I should feel special to be allowed in their white spaces.

And learned that I had no real protections from them or their racism.

After high school, I moved away and vary rarely looked back. I knew these folks weren’t my friends and I didn’t pretend they were. In fact, I would have no idea what was going on with them without Facebook, the ultimate voyeur’s dream application. Now I can peek in on their lives without having to actually engage with them. I can see many of their thoughts and opinions without having to have a conversation. I can see bits of who they are and confirm many of the things I knew, like the fact that they are racist as fuck.

They get really upset when you challenge them about this. Needless to say, I don’t know what many of them are up to anymore.

It’s always interesting when an event uncovers some of the racism they are in denial of practicing. Not the big shit. Not the abuse and murders of Black people. They are totally against that. But it’s other shit like cultural appropriation and how they’ll defend it without understanding it. Or supporting the police as an institution not as the terrorist organization it’s been for Black communities. Or when they speak up to protect Trump supporters.

It’s in the way they get defensive and 100% silent when you talk about racism at all.

I’ll be real. I am not interested in creating a public safe space for racism discussions. If you want to talk about it one-on-one, ask me and I’ll consider it. Publicly, I cannot and will not tolerate racist fuckery. I’m not going to be some free educational resource unless it’s on my own terms and my Facebook feed is not that place. I decide, not you.

And yes, my husband is white. This is not a secret. His being white does not mean I am more tolerant and understand of the racism of others. In fact, being with him made me less tolerant because I was suddenly exposed to a shit-ton more microaggressions than I’d ever had to deal with in my life. I had to learn that this was a challenge I accepted in my relationship; one that many people wouldn’t have chosen and that’s some hard shit to swallow. But what that also means is that it’s helped me see through a lot of the bullshit that comes my way. I don’t accept it, people. I don’t.

When you come out of the woodwork defending Trump supporters, you show your anti-Blackness. If you are white, you show your racism. When you come out to support the police, you show your anti-Blackness. If you are white, you show your racism. These things are undeniable, regardless of how you want to rationalize it. When you have a ridiculous amount of evidence pointing to the corruption and destructiveness of an organization, supporting it means you support the power, privilege, and corruption, as well as the robbery, abuse, and murder that goes with it. And telling yourself that you can parse that out is a lie. Own your bullshit.

I’m 100% tired of people lying to themselves about this shit. If you’re a racist, just own it. I mean, if you’re a white American, you are so just own it. And if it bothers you, as it should, work to change it. Make a better world for everyone.

And I do mean EVERYONE.

For the record,  supporting the police is more than just supporting the police. What you are actually supporting is an institution designed specifically to harm Black people. You’re supporting an institution that routine robs, brutalizes, and murders Black people with virtual immunity. This is an institution that routinely and intentionally decimates Black lives, as well as the lives of many vulnerable populations.

You are protecting oppression and white, hetero, cis, male supremacy.

The police took a Black woman in California to prison because she tried to defend another person from police officers’ physical abuse. They arrested and tried her for lynching.

The police beat a 15-year-old Black girl for riding her bike through a parking lot.

The police arrested Sandra Bland for a minor traffic infraction and released her dead body two days later.

The police took a 15-year old girl and started pimping her and using her for sex.

The police routinely imprison people without cause, plant false evidence, coerce confessions, kill people in police custody, lie, cheat, steal, kill and band together to hide their crimes.

There is some shit you really just can’t support. This is one of those things. We are not on the same team and fuck you for that.

Con Season Come Early!

Con Season Come Early!

When the Internet Looks Back

When the Internet Looks Back