Stop Selling Out Our Blackness

I have this thing where I'm watching these spaces curated by Black people for Black people either were low-key pandering to the yt gaze or sell themselves to them...

There's this weird underlying notion that you haven't "made it" until you getting them yt dollars and those curating these spaces have shown themselves willing to cash out on the trust of their followers and audiences. It fucking sucks. And yet, it's a norm.

When Protecting Yourself From Racism Is The Selfish Choice

Image from flickr/Jeremy Brooks

Originally published in The Establishment on February 5, 2018.

I didn’t realize that I never posted this on my personal site. This is from January 2018 when my S.O.’s mother was hospitalized for unknown reasons. She is fully recovered now, but I had to really think about how I could support my S.O. without subjecting myself to the racism of his family. It was a shitty time and I had no idea how this was going to go, and I chronicled my decision here.

So, You Married a White Man and People Suck When You Talk About It

Let’s start with the basics. I am a Black woman married to a white man. We have been together for nine years, during which the national conversation around race changed dramatically in this country. Black people have constant streams of evidence to prove to white people that they’ve been bullshitting themselves about racism all their lives and they don’t like it. Some hate it so much that they are outing themselves as nazis and actively recruiting, while other white people tell themselves they are allies until it’s time to believe and support Black people, at which point they eject from the conversation and immerse themselves with other white al-LIES about being punished despite being good to Black people. I, myself, was guilty of thinking that white people gave a fuck until I started building a life with one. Now I have a different perspective on all that shit.

Voting Is Bullshit But I'll Do It Anyway

I am an American who is not an American. My skin is too brown, my body too female and fat, and I cannot and will not occupy the space that amerikkka tries to coerce me into occupying to belong. I cannot neutralize my physicality enough to make whiteness comfortable with my presence and I no longer try. The truth of my existence here is apparent – I will never belong, and I am only mildly tolerable when I perform the roles white patriarchy dictates. And that is not who I choose to be.