Where I'm At and What I'm Up To
Con season is starting. This is actually an earlier start for me than usual. In March, I tend to be thinking through the possibilities of what I can do this year. I don’t start building until June, as a self-preservation thing. It’s really easy to become too immersed in the cosplay lifestyle and let it dominate your life. I am not interested in letting my other interests fall to the wayside as this hobby consumes me. Because it can consume you. Easily.
Fortunately, I’ve been able to merge some of my interests. I love mentally chewing on ideas and situations and writing provides me a way to do that. It helps me focus on ideas, sometimes with great results and other times not so much. Earlier this week I had some negative feedback on my perspective of Zootopia. It actually depressed me for a good 8 hours. Then I worked through it. I let myself feel bad and didn’t push for a resolution. I just let it be. While I do like it when people like my work, that’s not why I write, nor will unfavorable opinions silence me.
Being a creative is a funny space to occupy. The whole, I do this for me but please like what I do aspect is complicated and not simple to reconcile. And I keep finding myself back here, trying to accept that people’s approval is truly everything and nothing to me. It’s an ongoing theme in virtually every part of my life. When I was planning my wedding, I wanted to have an event that I would enjoy but also others could enjoy. When I choose my costumes, I choose characters I like and try to make a costume that looks good to me and to others. When I write, I want people to like it, but I know it’s not always possible. Or likely. That makes things complicated because I’m not going to adapt what I like to fit other’s expectations – at least not consciously.
And that’s the crux of the matter. How are we being unconsciously influenced by our desire for approval? Here I am, making a prop 3 months before I usually do any physical costume work and for what? I mean, sure, I have a costume party coming up and I want a couple of better props, but I don’t need to do it. So why am I? Because I have a Facebook page? Because it interests me? Because I want some cool pictures? Because I want to costume with a friend?
The answer to that is yes. It’s for all those reasons. I have a costume party coming up that I plan to dress up for. I want to try doing more building so I opted to build a prop. I asked to costume with a friend who is an armor builder, so that’s kinda forcing me to up my game because it’s a challenge. Plus, I do have a Facebook page and this would give me some shit to post about. So, you know, goals.
Same thing with my blog. I like to write introspective posts…I like to get deep and dirty in some thoughts, but I don’t think like that 100% of the time and I don’t want to write like that all of the time. Sometimes I want to putter around singing misogynistic rap songs while making a hot, dangerous mess in the basement. I’m not always thinking about this stuff and even if I am, I can’t always write about it. Just like with cosplay, I have a LOT of things I want to do, and I refuse to dedicate all my energy to just one thing.
I want to do it all.
So, I’ll continue my half-assed efforts of trying almost everything while becoming good at nothing. Apparently, that’s how I like to live my life.
So, more random thoughts and upcoming events.
In April there’s Hair of the Dragon, the photography costume party. This is the motivator for getting me back in the lab with some new materials and high hopes of making something cool. Day one was a bust, but I still have some time.
If you are at the HOTD event, please say hi. I’ll be weird because I’m always kinda off-putting when I first meet people but I usually warm up after that. And don’t feel like you have to talk about cosplay stuff, because I’m sure you have a shitton of other interests, too and I love learning new things about new people.
May is MomoCon, where I will be on a panel I created called “Cosplay in Non-canon Bodies.” I’m tentatively scheduled for 10am on Saturday and having supremely mixed feelings about that, but it’ll be cool.
I’ll also be on an anti-harassment panel at MomoCon. I’m not sure when my session will be, but when I know, I’ll definitely post about it.
June is usually when I start hitting the DragonCon semi-secret costume pretty hardcore but I am entertaining the idea of attending HeroesCon this year. This would be a 100% new convention, so cosplaying may be optional. It really depends on my mood and how complicated I think it’ll be. Much respect to people who travel and cosplay because I think I hate that shit, and I haven’t even done it yet. Heh.
The State of Black Science Fiction is hosting its inaugural convention this summer. It is an independent artist convention, focusing primarily on writing, I believe. I am probably going to attend that, depending on scheduling conflicts.
OnyxCon, a 100% independent artist comic convention is this summer. I hosted a panel last year and may be on the roster this year. We’ll see.
And then in September is DragonCon. I can honestly say that July and August will be filled with costume planning and construction ranting, so there’s that to look forward to.
I had someone gift me with some super hot Hellboy decoupage shoes. OMG! They are gorgeous. These are those special geek stand around and look hot shoes. I love them! Thank you Chantel!
This was supposed to be a short post on stuff I’m thinking of and it’s already 1000 words and I haven’t talked about half the stuff I’m thinking about. UGH! Just got tired of myself. Anyway, if you read this far, YAY! Thanks for your attention.