All in Marriage

So, You Married a White Man and People Suck When You Talk About It

Let’s start with the basics. I am a Black woman married to a white man. We have been together for nine years, during which the national conversation around race changed dramatically in this country. Black people have constant streams of evidence to prove to white people that they’ve been bullshitting themselves about racism all their lives and they don’t like it. Some hate it so much that they are outing themselves as nazis and actively recruiting, while other white people tell themselves they are allies until it’s time to believe and support Black people, at which point they eject from the conversation and immerse themselves with other white al-LIES about being punished despite being good to Black people. I, myself, was guilty of thinking that white people gave a fuck until I started building a life with one. Now I have a different perspective on all that shit.

My Husband’s Unconscious Racism Nearly Destroyed Our Marriage

This essay was originally published on The Establishment on May 26, 2016. It has been republished on Black Girl NerdsHuffington Post and Everyday Feminism. I wrote this because...well, because I had to. It was cathartic in many ways and it helped me deal with an aspect of my relationship that I didn't want to face...something nobody else seemed to be talking about. 

Keeping It Real About Interracial Relationships as a POC Part 1

It's work being in an interracial relationship, including friendships. There is hands-down a lack of respect of Black people that permeates interactions between white and Black people. Whether or not you decide to engage in that battle is a personal choice. It is a choice that I will not encourage but for which I will offer resources and support.