TW: This is going to get morose. You’ve been warned.
All in Life
We live trapped lives that we do not choose but once we have the option to choose, will we repeat what we hate or build something new?
My feelings were hurt and I’m working through it. This is what happens sometimes when you share yourself. It’s my least favorite part.
I am not okay and I’m not gonna pretend I am to keep you comfortable…especially while y’all on that bullshit.
Yesterday, someone online asked Black women 35 years old and older what advice they would give to Black women in their twenties.
This is the letter that I would write to my past self.
Learning is a life-long endeavor and we’re always gonna learn something, even when we don’t want to…
Photo by The AMP Image.
This is dedicated to the corpses of friendships past.
This is a long one talking about the various ways men, and in this instance Black men, exploit, diminish, and punish Black women for refusing to be their willing tools. The photo shows Typhoid Mary, a Marvel comic character who was often used as a tool for the men in her life.
I know so many men are super slow when it comes to sexism so as long as you aren't trying to gaslight me, undermine me, condescend to me, or yell at me in my DMs, while simultaneously ignoring what I'm saying, we can be cool. But when you do all that shit at the same damn time? Fuck you. Fuck your feelings. Fuck your words. Fuck your life.
But mostly, fuck you.
I'm not here for your shit.
Now that I have a couple of years of various content, I figured I'd put together something kinda explaining what you can find and where.
I'm struggling to work out this freelance stuff and wondering if making a living outside a traditional structure is possible. I mean, I know it is, but is it possible for me?
Photo by Steven Joerger. Male Bishop Cosplay by Barr Foxx Cosplay.
What you see may not be who I really am. My truth is complicated. But your lack of understanding does not mean my truth is irrelevant, so I will speak and you can choose whether you listen.
I never thought emotional pain was like muscle memory. Yet, every year for the past seven years, I find myself depressed because eight years ago my father died.
You know you're feeling rough when you relate to an animated, apathetic asshole.
I compiled my essays into a book for easy of finding. It's not everything from 2016, but it is the more significant essays. Available in print on CreateSpace and in eBook format on Amazon.
2016 was a shitty year in a lot of ways for a lot of people but personally, it was actually a pretty good year for me.
Now I need to keep telling myself that that's ok.
This essay was originally published on The Establishment on May 26, 2016. It has been republished on Black Girl Nerds, Huffington Post and Everyday Feminism. I wrote this because...well, because I had to. It was cathartic in many ways and it helped me deal with an aspect of my relationship that I didn't want to face...something nobody else seemed to be talking about.
It's work being in an interracial relationship, including friendships. There is hands-down a lack of respect of Black people that permeates interactions between white and Black people. Whether or not you decide to engage in that battle is a personal choice. It is a choice that I will not encourage but for which I will offer resources and support.
2016 as been one hell of a year and this election cycle was the most openly racist that I've experienced in my lifetime and that's saying a lot. But here we are on election day and no matter what, we got some work to do.